Overall, my feedback for assignment five was very positive. My tutor made a few suggestions for minor changes/improvements, but largely, my kusudama book will remain unchanged.
With regards to the project as a whole, my tutor said that:
“I believe that you have taken your idea as started with assignment 4 and successfully developed it into a really strong body of work. The final project has clearly been considered and your outcome is very professional… Combining your personal experiences and professional life provides the work with depth and originality.”
Obviously, this was very reassuring to hear. This is probably the first time that I have really attempted to incorporate my background into my art and I found the process to be very constructive. This gives me a lot to consider going forward.
The one area where my tutor did think I needed to do some extra work was regarding research into the kusudama themselves. He commented that:
“it appears that you have neglected to offer a written response to the nature, history and production of the Kusudama. It would be well worth the extra effort to consider this research and add to your learning log… You may then want to take this into account when establishing the introduction within the publication, a short tweak to the text would suffice.”
This is a very valid point. I did do a little research into the kusudama when I started this project but I didn’t think to add that research to my blog. This issue has now been rectified and the research can be found here.
Furthermore, I have used this research to expand my essay slightly as recommended. Specifically, I have added a new paragraph to the “Geological Kusudama” section to address this.
Other minor comments that my tutor made are as follows:
1) That I didn’t include any information in the essay about where and when the kusudama were supposedly found. He thought that this information would be worth including
I have added an extra paragraph to the “Materials and Methods” section to expand on this.
2) It would be worth emphasising the 3D nature of the kusudama on my blog. Perhaps in the form of a video of one of the objects being rotated.
A video can be found here.
3) My tutor suggested looking at a couple of references regarding “constructing and materiality”. Please follow the links below to find out more.